My friend recently sent me a picture of a plus sized model. I’m sitting in a moment right now where I have decided to view my thoughts upon looking at this picture. I’m noticing how DRASTICALLY different my true feelings and my old thoughts on someone’s body are.
Years Ago My Thoughts Would Have Sounded Like:
-Omg she doesnt have ANY business being a model!
-Isn’t she embarrassed of her cellulite and stretch marks ?
-That’s great but I don't feel the need to flaunt being overweight….
-Come on does she REALLY love herself? Is she REALLY ok with her body looking like this?
It was just this onslaught of negativity and judgment. Unsolicited I might add. Years ago, these thoughts would come up automatically with no evaluation on where they were even coming from. Here in this moment I'm totally aware of my thoughts. I see the dimpled thighs and larger belly and I marvel at how much she looks like me. I can’t believe that I’m stunned to see a larger woman in print yet I see one in the mirror and many on the streets daily. I’m aware of an inner sadness about that fact. I’m aware of rays of hope warming my heart true non-gimmicky reality is showing up our entertainment and media.
Then I got mad. Well then where TF did those hateful thoughts come from?? How could I think something like that? Hell I’m plus sized! Who did I think I was? Am I such a dark, narcissistic, shallow person to create a narrative in my head like that?
Oooo Self-Compassion Pause. Those thoughts didn't sound like me but they sounded very much like the hate rants I hear around me, they reek of the ads I’ve seen since childhood and they look like programs I’ve seen on TV and in movies.
We may not have the spongy soaking power of our baby/child brains but as adults are brain sponges aren’t so saturated that these messages, both subtle and blatant can’t seep in. Many of them we unconsciously choose! Hate and judgment is all around us and sometimes it can very easily mask as our own thoughts on something. So when hate laced thoughts pop up kick yourself some Self-Compassion and figure out what’s up.
When you have a judgmental or unkind thoughts:
STOP. Be aware of this thought before gaining momentum on it
Label it as just a thought so you can detach from it.
Throw it on a petri dish and try and discover where it came from (Society? Friends? Past hurts? Future anxiety? You feelings about yourself?)
Find out how you REALLY feel (Give youself a hug, discovering self-truths aint always easy)
Continue to choose to adopt your new way of thinking when the old ways try and rear their ugly heads
- LAUGH! It’s just life and you were born awesome and remain so until death. Period.